a post to the tune of karma police

i'm writing at the school right now. jordi is here too. it's hard to think. it's hard to do much other than think about the pain in my mouth. whatever.

i miss irina desperately. and i'm half tempted now to use syntax in an incorrect, ESL manner. lol. so i'm thinking in internet, ESL and part english major. this is going to be interesting. i wonder if my memory capacity or something has deteriorated recently.

i have not the capability to do this sort of work. i am le retard.

and i promised to write about my life in LJ. so i'll write it here first. in the only way i know. that way, etc. ...

whatever.

the shit has hit the fan

to quote chris rash, that is... or rather to misquote... what is the question?

i have been thoroughly pulled down to the darkness of the lair where self-doubt and the attacks of the betrayed meet. i was not wrong to think that i would see the day, after all. the wrath of Cybernetic Boitano 5000A series was ruthless and pathetic, but nevertheless, i chose to think that there was no hope in the world for people at all. after all, we're going beneath the waves in a several years. anyway. i don't want to be quoted by the sort that would wreak havoc on my name now that i'm gone from the atease universe. er, neighborhood playground. that's over.

i'm freezing in here.

anyway...i feel abandoned. hildur. even irina didn't bother making the time to talk to me. i think something is wrong here. she's feeling quite free to act without inhibition now that i'm not on atease. as if i'd been holding her back till something better came along. because obviously i'm worth nothing now that i'm myself. i'm no longer playing the part that had come along in march 2005. that's all over. now i'm a pathetic worm without anything on the internet but a girl that i hope loves me but probably won't care in a few days if i come online or not at all.

and i wonder why i don't just end it here. why didn't i just end it when i called quits? why did i stick around? is there really any point? i don't know that she loves me. i don't believe her. it's not the first time i've been tricked, led along... yet i know in my heart she is perfect for me. but i think she regrets having met me.

...

I am the sort of person to wear a CCCP shirt to my Cuban relatives' place in Florida.
I don't take pride in my heritage nor anyone else's.
I'm a citizen of the world.

photobuckets

transdimensional http://s4.photobucket.com/albums/y150/transdimensional/
transdimensional2 http://s6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/transdimensional2/
transdimensional3 http://s6.photobucket.com/albums/y240/transdimensional3/
transdimensional4 http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y293/transdimensional4/
moralbankruptcy http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b125/moralbankruptcy/
macpodbores http://s23.photobucket.com/albums/b391/macpodbores/
honeymoonisover http://s16.photobucket.com/albums/b39/honeymoonisover/
brushthecobwebs http://s23.photobucket.com/albums/b366/brushthecobwebs/