An Indulgent Unhappy Birthday

Someone call an ambulance, cos there's going to be a (self-inflicted) accident...

The writer in me wants to write something I'm not capable of so the wrong area of my brain is taking command -- FUCK! Well, if that's how they play, I guess we'll just live with it, since we're unwilling to do anything else. Around the world, I guess. Can't be responsible for anyone else's problems though, so I suppose I'd better mind what I say, because I'm not going to bore my responsibility on you. I don't want the trouble of the world on my arms, so I'll keep it for myself.

I ache. I listen. I feel. Revulsion could come so fast, but then again, so could pleasure unimaginable. There's sensation. Fixation. The one on whose arm I took. She would be mine but I can not have any, cos I won't. I can't. I try and I can't.

It's a curse that I love so much and love so little that I feel that love is my only salvation only because it's the one thing I truly do not have that cannot be gained, learned or taken.

INFP - "Questor". High capacity for caring. Emotional face to the world. High sense of honor derived from internal values. 4.4% of total population.

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Main type	Variant

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Enneagram Test Results Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||| 50% Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||||| 70% Type 3 Image Awareness |||||||||||||||| 66% Type 4 Sensitivity |||||||||||||||||| 76% Type 5 Detachment |||||||||||||||| 66% Type 6 Anxiety |||||| 30% Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||||||||| 63% Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||| 23% Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||||| 70% Your main type is 4 Your variant is self pres

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Fuck!

I don’t trust myself to write but that didn’t stop me – I have this tendency to spill everything at least the bits that will get me in trouble even when my mind is saying ALERT, INFORMATION BREACH, IMPLOSION IMMINENT – and this newfound inspiration to write comes from what has pegged me recently, in love, incomplete, insecure, intolerable – and I’ve got to say what I’ve got to say, but does that really mean I should say it? – I’m certain to regret it – and of course it’s all my fault for getting out of work late and I should’ve known that a difference in clocks would fuck it up like it did before, but before, I was the one ahead, now she is, she sleeps when I’m still blah from work – how long will she sleep? – I’m just bored, but I’m actually in love, I have been, but I trusted myself to keep myself busy, now she’s entered my mind again and she won’t get out – it’s the same trouble, and this time I have hope and it’s tearing me apart like the deterioration and erosion of the world only for something nice to possibly show – rough analogy, metaphor, and my depression did that for me – is it hormonal imbalance, because I’ve been almost 6 months without getting depressed over love and now it’s here again – I was happy and now I’m destroyed.

Astronomy at 8

The alarm was set for 7:30, but after blazing like I did, let's just say this was not an option.

Well, the other classes are salvagable.